I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
