I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
