Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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