just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
