he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
