This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
