Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
