he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
