Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sorry about my life...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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