He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
