I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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