she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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