I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
