And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
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You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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