where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
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He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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