no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
