Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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