dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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