i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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