Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
