Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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