A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
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I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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