maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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