and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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