Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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