I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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