I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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