Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
