somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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