I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dicks are not precious.
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