wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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