Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
