for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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