It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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