im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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