Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
