wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize