Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
