ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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