Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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