I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
