i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
