Do you still have your period?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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