I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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