Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize