It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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