I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
