sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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