i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize