$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Randomize
