your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
