That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
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Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
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he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.