so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
I didn't shave. On purpose
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.