Having a random hookup so left but love u
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
