Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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