Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
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my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
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Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.