He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
