When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
