I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
