I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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