He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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