I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
