Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
