Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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