think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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