I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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