I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
